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Published On: Aug 25, 2004 09:37 PM
Total entries in this category:
Published On: Aug 25, 2004 09:37 PM
The Best Aunt in the Universe
Three out of three kids agree... Aunt Lisa is the
best.
"Forty, forty-one, forty-two... There she is!"
Aodán is counting the passengers off the plane, all of our noses are
pressed against the glass separating the waiting area from the gate area of the
secure DFW airport. I don't know which of us is most excited. I'm a bit
worried my sister's ability to work them up to a frenzy of hyper silliness, but
somehow she never goes too far... she can tease them just as much as they can
take and they adore her. She is fun but she also is excellent at setting
boundaries, and it's amazing to see my kids be silly without turning into total
savages . She tolerates no unkindness from one to the other and she very
gracefully supports my authority -- a subtle quality in a relative, not to be
underrated. She diplomatically marvels at them to me, and so long as she has no
children of her own she can make me believe that my kids are the most amazing
creatures on earth, and I will lap it
up.
My relationship with her is perhaps a little more complicated. We're sisters. We compete. We idolize each other, disappoint each other, remain friends. I am very much out-of-proportion proud of her, as a performer, teacher, communicator -- I am amazed at how good she is at what she does, how passionate about it she is. And she understands things about me that no one else does and believes in me as no one else does, and has found in aunt-hood a place for earnestly advocating for her beloved nephews, which might sound like criticism from somebody else. The closer you are to somebody, the more ambiguous the area of things you can't say to them is... I think there's this media lie of the relationship where you can tell someone everything you think, but from someone you love a glance of reproach is sting enough. And so often in long phone calls my job is just to listen and reflect back to her what she's saying with me so she can see it outside of herself "It sounds like you're not very happy at this job..." and not to tell her what to do or how to do it.
Before Xander was born I had high blood pressure and the doctor sent me to bed for three months. This was especially painful because Aodán was an active two-year-old who had been the center of my life since he was born. We'd just moved to Austin and had no support network at all. I think that this may have been the most scared and helpless I have ever felt, and Lisa provided us with the amazing gift of moving to Austin and staying with us and caring for Aodán. I can't imagine how difficult it must have been, she respected the integrity of our small family, being sensitive to my fear of losing all control, putting her life on hold for four months, and recognizing when I didn't need her any more and moving back home. The magnitude of what she did for us blows me away and I will always be overwhelmed by how much I owe her.
My relationship with her is perhaps a little more complicated. We're sisters. We compete. We idolize each other, disappoint each other, remain friends. I am very much out-of-proportion proud of her, as a performer, teacher, communicator -- I am amazed at how good she is at what she does, how passionate about it she is. And she understands things about me that no one else does and believes in me as no one else does, and has found in aunt-hood a place for earnestly advocating for her beloved nephews, which might sound like criticism from somebody else. The closer you are to somebody, the more ambiguous the area of things you can't say to them is... I think there's this media lie of the relationship where you can tell someone everything you think, but from someone you love a glance of reproach is sting enough. And so often in long phone calls my job is just to listen and reflect back to her what she's saying with me so she can see it outside of herself "It sounds like you're not very happy at this job..." and not to tell her what to do or how to do it.
Before Xander was born I had high blood pressure and the doctor sent me to bed for three months. This was especially painful because Aodán was an active two-year-old who had been the center of my life since he was born. We'd just moved to Austin and had no support network at all. I think that this may have been the most scared and helpless I have ever felt, and Lisa provided us with the amazing gift of moving to Austin and staying with us and caring for Aodán. I can't imagine how difficult it must have been, she respected the integrity of our small family, being sensitive to my fear of losing all control, putting her life on hold for four months, and recognizing when I didn't need her any more and moving back home. The magnitude of what she did for us blows me away and I will always be overwhelmed by how much I owe her.
Posted: Mon - August 18, 2003 at 09:49 PM